There’s a fairly chance that is good hookup will begin (and end) here
We’ve explained frat rush. We’ve explained rush that is srat. Now, we’re describing another painfully confusing and time-consuming procedure that types the main backbone of Columbia pupil life: the hookup tradition. This post is just a satirical description of this tradition, as grasped by a second-semester sophomore who’s in the asexual spectrum, simply got away from a significant long-distance relationship, and it has yet to attach with anybody at Columbia.
Barney Stinson when stated that a relationship is much like a freeway; as soon as you access it, you will find designated exits at very carefully predetermined periodic periods. This analogy seems just a little simplistic and a small arbitrary for the real world – which means that it is ideal for Columbia. Right right right Here, I present the seven exits associated with Columbia hookup highway.
1. Night one:
You meet someone at a celebration, or match using them on Tinder, or have actually an instant of extremely romantic attention contact across Ferris during top dinner hour (the very first two choices are more likely). You participate in some sort of sexual activity (definitions be determined by the individual). You extricate yourself instantly a while later and grab some halal, then casually begin walking faster when you see them on campus. About 65% of prospective couples – the majority that is vast only survive this long.
2. Three times:
After the party/Tinder/Ferris pasta experience, you stay the and exchange phone numbers night. You choose to go down for coffee a few days later on, then chances are you or they decide that is an adequate amount of a relationship for at least the month that is next.